What can I say to students who are afraid to try things?
Tell them the story of David Fajgenbaum, who I wrote about for as a :
David Fajgenbaum didn鈥檛 die. He thought he would. He almost did.
But he didn鈥檛.
What almost killed him was Castleman disease, an immune disorder so rare that David, a medical student when the symptoms first appeared, had never heard of it.
Pondering his mortality at close range, David realized his greatest regrets in life were not what he鈥檇 done wrong, but rather, what he hadn鈥檛 done at all:
鈥淲hen you鈥檙e dying鈥攐r at least when I was dying鈥攖hese memories become quite insignificant. It鈥檚 the absence of memories that you wish you had made鈥攁nd the realization that you鈥檒l never get the chance to make them鈥攖hat coalesce into a horribly vivid pit of regret in your stomach.鈥�
shows that when you鈥檙e making up your mind about what to do, you鈥檙e in an entirely different frame of mind than when you鈥檝e committed yourself to take action. Before you commit to a goal, you鈥檙e deliberative, giving equal attention to pros and cons, shying away from choices that are long shots. But after you commit to a goal, you enter an implemental mindset. Now, the pros get more of your attention, while the cons become obstacles to be overcome and problems to solve.
As a professor, I meet a lot of young people who are experts at deliberating but amateurs at implementing. They fear the unknown. They fear failure. They fear the suboptimal.
David tells me he used to be one of those people.
Not anymore.
His mantra now? Think it, do it.
鈥淓very thought should be broken down and evaluated to determine if it鈥檚 worth doing,鈥� David explains. This is why the comma is so important. You need to take decisionmaking seriously.
But what if you decide, say, that ? 鈥淭hen it鈥檚 go mode鈥攚hether or not you have all the ideal skills to do it.鈥�
顿辞苍鈥檛 live life as if it will last forever. 顿辞苍鈥檛 live your whole life on the left side of the comma.
Do help your kids practice proactivity. And model it yourself. What do you want to change in your life? Think it, do it.
